Marriage requires work. This is something most couples don’t understand — at least when walking into the marriage contract. All relationships require work. Business relationships, parenting relationships, and yet, so many people are surprised to discover just how much work is required to make a marriage successful. Some couples do make it look easy. These are the couples, more often than not, who have built their marriages on solid foundations. If you’re interested in keeping your marriage on track, getting it back on track, or trying to get it on track from the very beginning, you need to consider these tips for building a better foundation.
Discuss Your Past – Briefly
It’s in the past and that’s where it needs to remain. Unless you have major secrets you’re hiding that could harm your relationship down the road, there isn’t much to say about past relationships, connections, and events. That doesn’t mean you should attempt to hide things. Only that it isn’t necessary to discuss the intimate details of every boy you’ve kissed from third grade on up. Relationships are often made stronger because of a shared history but the relationships that last are the ones that keep their eyes on the future and are not constantly staring back into the past.
This also works for fights, arguments, disagreements, etc. Leave them in the past and move on. If you can’t forgive and forget, find a way to work it out so that you’re not constantly dwelling on it. If it’s an ongoing problem find a solution that works for you both or it will continue to be a problem for your marriage.
Make Plans for the Future – Keep them Flexible
Flexibility is a word that needs to be a cornerstone for all marriages. It’s one thing to have a future mapped out together. You need to have plans for the future. But, you need to avoid sticking to those plans so rigidly that they jeopardize your future together.
Embrace the Moment – You Never Know How Many You’ll Have
Life is short. And, it offers no guarantees. You never know how many sunrises and sunsets you’ll get in your marriage. Illness, accidents, and even relationship turmoil can rob you of the future you hoped for. Cherish the time you have together. When petty arguments arise, really think, long and hard, if the argument is worth the discord. Decide if it’s worth robbing you of the joy of being together — even for a moment.
Once you build a better foundation for your marriage, based on these principles, you’ll see a huge difference in the way you approach problems and work to find solutions. Ultimately, you’ll both have a happier marriage that requires less work than many other couples struggling for a future that isn’t working for them, rehashing past arguments, or failing to take advantage of the time they have together today.