Have you ever resorted to expensive gifts to make up for major misdeeds in the course of your relationship? Many men offer costly gifts to the women they love in hopes of smoothing things over and making it right. It may have started out with flowers and chocolates. Over time, the practice escalated to expensive jewelry, cars, homes, and vacations. The bigger the misdeed, the bigger the buyoff.
Unfortunately, this practice often does more harm for the relationship than good. The relationship becomes a series of highs and lows with each one attempting to outdo the other. Eventually, you’re either out of money or in debt so big that even more problems are being created. All the while, nothing is getting solved. It’s just being temporarily swept underneath the discarded ribbons, bows, and tissue paper.
Here are a few questions to help you get a handle on your gift buying tendencies whenever relationship problems arise.
How Much Will it Really Cost?
The costs are not always measured in dollars and cents. Men, especially, will gladly pay the price in dollars to avoid the emotional confrontation required to deal with the real, underlying problem in the relationship. Buying gifts provides a quick, albeit temporary, fix for a problem they don’t really want to face. The thing is, the problem is still there the next time mistakes are made and the price tag for avoidance keeps getting bigger and bigger every single time.
How Much Have You Spent Already?
The other point to consider is this. How much money have you already spent trying to delay the inevitable? The longer you attempt to put it off, the harder it’s going to be to deal with when the time comes. It’s kind of like an onion. The core problem is still there. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to go in and peel each individual layer, uncovering new problems and hurt feelings along the way, to get to the heart of the matter when the time does arrive to fix the problem or walk away. That money could solve many problems you’re having and would have likely been much better spent building your future together rather than covering up the “sins of the past.”
How much can you really afford to spend? This is the final question for many men in your shoes. There’s never really enough, is there? Love is something that can’t be bought. Forgiveness can’t really be purchased either. Women may joke about it, but the truth is they’d rather fix the problems and save the relationship the old-fashioned way than through gifts and bribes. She’s MUCH rather receive gifts from you as tokens of love from you instead of buyoffs for her affections.