First off, assure yourself that all people – no exceptions – experience fear. It is a very normal feeling that confronts people whenever they face possible rejection, change, the unknown, or any possible negative outcome. But what differentiates successful people who get what they want is that they feel the fear and face it head on. They refuse to be paralyzed by fear and instead face it head-on, often getting astounding results. If you feel the fear and face it head on , you will fully appreciate what this means.
Just stop thinking and worrying, and just do it! Ask for that raise; ask that person you like out for a date; ask for help – ask for anything you want! Author Diana von Welanetz Wentworth says, “It doesn’t matter what you are thinking or what fear you have, if you just do it. Action is the only thing that matters. Whenever I put myself in a position where I have taken action, even though I’ve been afraid, I always feel extra good.”
If you are still hesitating, ask yourself, “Why am I doing this in the first place?” Picture the outcome you want, and you will get that extra boost to face your fear. Why are you asking for a raise? Why are you asking this person out? Why are you asking for help? Is not what you are asking for worth it? Tell yourself – your fear is nothing compared to what you are going to achieve once you just do it! Feel the fear and face it head on.
You can start out small to build up confidence for the big things. A good exercise would be to ask seemingly stupid questions. Researcher Michael Hesse was advised by his therapist to ask “stupid” questions but what happened was people did not think he was stupid and were actually eager to help and answer his question.
You may never be able to fully overcome your fears but if you feel the fear and face it head on, doors will open for you and the results may just surprise you.
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