For some women, a cheating husband is a major line in the sand. It’s a breach of trust and a betrayal of love so egregious that she cannot move beyond. This is the one “crime” against marriage that many women cannot forgive or forget. However, there are a growing number of women in the world who believe that marriages should be strong enough to weather the many storms life throws their way — including the category five hurricane we call adultery. But there are a few things you need to know before you try to make it work.
Don’t Offer a Free Pass
Even if you plan to forget and move on, you must not give your husband a “get out of jail free” card when it comes to cheating. He needs to understand that there are consequences and that this is not behavior you’re willing to tolerate. Establish ground rules for now and in the future and let him know that this is a one-shot deal. The affair must end if there is any hope for the marriage to be saved.
Don’t Ask Questions You Don’t NEED (Really Need) the Answers To
You can sink the knife even deeper into your heart by asking for all the gory details or you can decide that it’s not important to know the intimate details of his adultery and move on from there. For most women, not knowing is ultimately better. You’re not left rehashing the details over and over again in your mind. Your efforts are better spent looking to the future and working to put this part of the past as far behind you as possible.
Don’t Allow His Bad Behavior to Undermine Your Confidence
Invariably women blame themselves for their cheating husbands. He’s the one who did the deed. It’s not about more sex. It’s not about a thinner waistline, larger cup sizes, or even a broader understanding. No matter what kinds of excuses men make for their cheating ways it isn’t your fault that he cheated. You can beat yourself up with what you could have, would have, or wish you had done differently but none of those things are likely to have changed the outcome. What you need to focus on now is what you can do in the future so that it doesn’t happen again.
The big question you must answer right now, though, is whether or not you really want to make it work. Some women can move past cheating while others cannot. It’s better to decide now than to send him backing or walk away only to regret the decision later. Think before you react. If it takes a little time, then take the time you need to sort out how you feel and where you want to go from here.