Breaking up is hard to do — especially when you’re the one who was left behind. Depending on how long the two of you were together and how deeply involved you may have been, sex might sound like the perfect solution for getting him back. Unfortunately, solutions, after a breakup, are anything BUT simple. The one answer that screams the loudest that it’s the right thing to do is, quite often, the worst thing to do. Here’s why.
Sex Now Gives him the Benefits of a Relationship Without the Strings
The strings are the ties that bind you together and right now you want as many strings attached as possible. It might seem like a good idea to remind him of what he’s missing or give him a taste of what’s yet to come. The truth of the matter is that the longer you hold out now, the better your odds are of a successful outcome. Showing him what he can’t have will make him want it more. If you give it to him outside the confines of a relationship then he has no reason to return at all. He enjoys the creature comforts without being required to meet the obligations of a boyfriend or husband.
Deny, Deny, Deny
As crazy as it sounds, it will drive him crazy with wanting you. Let him know where you stand on the issue of sex and what it’s going to take for him to get back in your good graces. Denying him the sexual release he wants places you in a position of power. It turns the tables to a certain degree. While you should never wield power such as this maliciously, it can be a powerful tool in your arsenal as you work to get your boyfriend back.
It’s Important to Make him Earn It
Physical love is an expression. It’s a gift you give to him. While “earn” may not be the best word, it is important that he deserves the gift of love you offer him. It should never be an act of desperation on your part or a last ditch effort to win him back. Instead, it should be a celebration of the love the two of you share AFTER you get back together.
Sex is a beautiful thing between two people who love and respect one another. Without those two things, it loses some of its poetry and potency. If you’re trying to get your boyfriend back, sex carries a lot more weight when denied than when offered freely.