The idea of getting back together with your ex probably seems like the perfect solution to your present state of heart and mind. The breakup is the root of all your problems and your pain at the moment. You believe that making up will be the perfect answer. It might even solve some of your problems by relieving your pain to the point where you can think clearly. However, if you had waited that long before making up, what would those clearer thoughts have revealed about the breakup to begin with? Is getting back together with your ex really in your best interest? Consider these questions to help you decide.
Have You Grown from the Experience?
Not just the breakup. Have you grown from the relationship? How has loving your ex changed you for the better? For worse? Where do you want to go, on a personal level, from here? Is it somewhere your ex will be able to go with you? How have your dreams and plans for the future changed as a result of your relationship with your ex? Do you still have dreams you’re working to achieve? Or, have you given them all up for the sake of practicality and expedience? What have you accomplished since becoming involved with your ex? Do you feel like you’re a better person because you knew your ex?
Are Your Prepared to Put the Past Behind You?
The problems in your relationship don’t go away just because you broke up and got back together. Wouldn’t it be nice if it did work that way though! The truth is that the old baggage is waiting at the same door one of you stomped out of when the you-know-what hit the fan. If you don’t resolve the issues that tore the two of you apart to begin with, they’re going to cause problems again unless you’ve decided that you can really put them behind the two of you and move forward.
What Kinds of Changes are You Willing to Make to Make it Work?
Lasting relationships require work. It’s as simple as that. You can’t share a home and lead two separate lives. You can’t go your separate ways and meet up when things are lonely or a little less hectic. You have to make time for each other and you have to do things together. More importantly, though, for the sake of saving your relationship, you both have to change in ways that bring you together rather than divide you.
If you’re not willing to put the past behind you, make necessary changes, and aren’t sure you’ve really grown from your time together, then why on earth are you fighting like mad to save the relationship? If you have positive answers to all these questions, then you’ll need to follow a well-conceived plan of attack to get your ex to pay attention and really give you, and your relationship, a second chance.